Personal Development

Change Your Attitude, Change Your Life

January 30, 2017

Sometimes, we find ourselves in less-than-ideal situations. When we can’t change the situation, there is still something we can do to improve it. If you can change your attitude, you can change your life.

change your life

Being in a bad situation doesn’t mean that we can’t be happy.
Whether it’s a long-term or short-term inconvenience, that’s all it is, an inconvenience. There’s a trap we often fall into. I’m definitely guilty of this one and am working hard to beat it. It’s the “if-then” trap, also known as the “when-then” trap. I’m sure you’ve fallen into this one. Everyone has at least a few times.

If-Then

Let me explain. “If-Then” applies to those situations where something you perceive as negative has happened. As a result, your mood changed. And now you’re stuck thinking “If Cheryl hadn’t been so rude, then I wouldn’t be so pissed off right now.” Sometimes, it can go a little deeper. “If I’d had a better childhood, then I could be happy” Well guess what, buttercup? You are dead wrong. There is nothing you can do to change other people’s behavior and there is certainly nothing you can do to change the past. If you let your mood, attitude, or happiness depend on things that are out of your control, you’re gonna have a bad time. Your happiness should never rely on someone else or a past event. Your happiness is never out of your control!

When-Then

This one is fairly similar. Nothing has actually happened yet, but your happiness is dependent on a future event. For example, “When I lose weight, then I will love myself” Or something like, “When you apologize, then I will forgive you.” In most cases, you cannot control how the future plays out, so the event you are waiting for might not happen. Even if it did happen, do you seriously want to wait until it does to be happy? Your happiness should never be conditional on something happening in the future.

Changing Your Attitude

If you don’t like the situation you’re in, change it! If the situation can’t be changed, embrace it as if you had chosen it. Change your attitude.

Of course, as most things are, this is easier said than done. So here is an actionable plan to take control of your happiness:

  1. Get rid of the negativity

Make a list of all of the negative things in your life. It could be relationships, a job, the color of your walls, etc. Once you have this list, work on eliminating those things. Stay away from toxic people, look into changing jobs, paint your wall, and keep making these changes until the list is completed.

  1. Don’t dwell in the past

What has already happened cannot be changed. If you are having trouble letting go, write everything you’re feeling on a piece of paper. Get all of those feelings out of your system. Then destroy that piece of paper. As you destroy it let all of the hate, anger, sadness, etc. go with it.

  1. Don’t worry about the future

You can’t predict the future and you certainly can’t control it. While you’re busy worrying about what could happen or wishing something would happen, you are missing out on what is happening right now. Embrace the present moment. Live and love fully and let the future work itself out.

  1. Focus on the positive

No matter what’s going on, there will always be a silver lining. Look for it, appreciate it, and just keep focusing on the positive. Your life will be wholly determined by how you choose to see things. So, go ahead. Change your attitude, and change your life.

 

What are some things you can choose to focus on this week?

Change your attitude, change your life

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17 Comments

  • Reply Cristina January 30, 2017 at 5:14 pm

    I want to get rid of negativity, but it is so hard when it’s so much around you. And when I say negativity around you I mean the bad news on TV, the envy on social media and so on. Sometimes is very difficult cu ignore it and to not let yourself affected by it.

    • Reply Karen Aileen January 30, 2017 at 9:33 pm

      I totally understand what you mean, Cristina. I have the same issue sometimes when reading or watching the news just brings me down. Something I would recommend that has helped me is subscribing to sites such as the Good News Network which focus on positive news stories that often don’t get covered by the mainstream media. One more thing to keep in mind was put so perfectly by Mr. Rogers so I’ll share it with you here: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster,” I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.”

  • Reply Michelle January 30, 2017 at 5:16 pm

    This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks for sharing!

    • Reply Karen Aileen January 30, 2017 at 9:33 pm

      Glad it helped, Michelle. Thanks for stopping by!

  • Reply Nikki-ann January 30, 2017 at 6:14 pm

    A great positive post and one needed by so many people at the moment. Having had such a bad first half to 2016, I decided to need to be more positive. I must admit to slipping every now and then, but I do try.

    • Reply Karen Aileen January 30, 2017 at 9:34 pm

      All we can do is try. Each day try to be positive until it becomes a habit. I hope your 2017 only gets brighter from here on out.

  • Reply Courtney CJ January 30, 2017 at 9:37 pm

    I am focusing on my upcoming job search and I truly can’t wait for it. I’m also in the beginning stages of dating which is so foreign to me but I am just enjoying the present and will take it day by day.

  • Reply valerie hansen January 30, 2017 at 10:54 pm

    I loved this post and definitely something I needed to hear. I have some negative situations right now, and letting them get the best of me..time to change that and my attitude!

    Thank you so much!

    Valerie
    xo
    Fashion and tRavel

    • Reply Karen Aileen January 30, 2017 at 11:25 pm

      Glad it helped. Thanks for stopping by, Valerie!

  • Reply Jess @ Scones & Patron January 31, 2017 at 1:07 am

    This is so useful – I’ve bee having a lot of “if” and “then” thoughts as I switch jobs. Thank you for your advice!

    • Reply Karen Aileen January 31, 2017 at 4:02 pm

      I hope it helps. Thanks for stopping by!

  • Reply Kate January 31, 2017 at 4:44 am

    I really like this line- “If the situation can’t be changed, embrace it as if you had chosen it.” I was listening to a pod cast in the weekend and they were saying how when you have to make a decision your brain rationalises it and sells it as the best decision. I can see the same principle being relevant here. Thanks!

    • Reply Karen Aileen January 31, 2017 at 4:08 pm

      Exactly! Going into it with this mindset will deliver the best outcome.

  • Reply Chel January 31, 2017 at 2:40 pm

    Get rid of the negativity… So something that I need to work on. Mostly people and I know that they are negative, but for some reason, I just can’t drop them. Perhaps it’s because I want to change them. Little naive of me to think so, but still.

    These are some excellent points. Thanks for this post. Be well and hope you have a fantastic week.

    • Reply Karen Aileen January 31, 2017 at 4:10 pm

      I hope this post helps, Chel! Have a wonderful week

  • Reply Cait Weingartner February 1, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    Thanks for sharing such great advice. This is such an important message, since it’s so easy to be happy and grateful when all is going well, but the true test is to maintain a positive outlook, even when facing difficulties.

    • Reply Karen Aileen February 1, 2017 at 7:11 pm

      Exactly, Cait! It’s when things are going wrong that we must be as positive as possible.

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